Alone with myself
alone with thoughts of you,
dreams that we might pursue
the metaphor that is something more
Do you have plans in store for me?
Something locked away?
Will I, can I, find the key?
Or are you just as lost in this feeling
as I am, and finding me
only out of your desperate need
to not be the lone and forlorn refugee
Spontaneity craving
the all too unsurprising predictability
that I do not have the ability to willingly
conjure up, for your fearful gut that undermines
your revolutionary desires
the very thing that inspires
this all new, unconventional concoction
of love in me
Stagnant in your opposition to compromise
but positioned to compose around
something safe and sound
that I can’t be
Why can’t we both remain wild and free?
Liberty meets love, and lives in it liberally
instead of denying and dying
the part that defies a love that’s limiting.
Packed away are my overt attempts to
create and break free that love within me.
But will that love be too different
too strange to move your eyes to see
The love I know you have for me?
It isn’t easy
It isn’t what you need to satisfy and pacify your fears
Ready to challenge me but you stay
securely still in your stubborn habit
of thirsting for security
I won’t be part of the assembly line of lovers
replacing the past
enslaving myself to your repetitive defense mechanisms
that mass produced flat and failed relationships
The dimensions we’ve mentioned
philosophically talking with the top down in your cool convertible
free and versatile
in thought, in mind, in spirit.
But though you can hear it
you can’t take to heart
the part that would free
your heart
You aren’t fearful of who would leave you
but frightened by what it would mean if someone would stay~
Would sway in the wind and the water that is you,
flowing in a stream to a stream of consciousness
as wide eyed and open as the ocean
Not hindered by the currents currently claiming
calming and inhibiting
the independent spirit
in an uninhabitable love
That body of water
that body of love
a mirror reflecting–
how you won’t
how you refuse
to look
to see
the you, you love sufficiently
for you have efficiently
not let it be tied down
but do not love enough to embrace fully..
to let it be lifted up
to give up,
not surrendering
but rendering
it free.
Let your expectations
like their limitations
be obsolete.
You’re wading in a pool of your own possibility
I’m waiting for you to dive into
the depths of our opportunity.
There will be no death of you or me,
we can coexist in this discovery
you can feel it
now believe it
you can be free
in loving me
