Paradigm Shift

There was barely time to cheer the news that a federal judge ruled the morning-after pill must be made available over the counter without a prescription when the story came in from Virginia that an amendment had passed barring insurance plans to cover abortion, even when paid for with one’s own money.

This, so soon on the heels of North Dakota’s restrictive – and unconstitutional – abortion law came to pass the same day so many progressives were cheering the momentum for marriage equality. It’s enough to make one feel like there can’t just be a solid “win” in one day – there always has to be a hit, too.

It is exciting to finally see such a groundswell of support for gay rights, with even conservatives speaking out in favor of marriage equality. It’s interesting to note that the language is often the same: an opinion is changed because someone they love – child, relative, friend – has told them that they are gay. And realizing that yes, they are still human and worthy of all the same rights and benefits as the next person, tips the balance away from prejudice and toward acceptance.

Although most of the anti-choice crowd also has a woman in their lives whom they love, the acceptance does not extend to abortion rights. Abortion just isn’t talked about in the same way – and more often than not, it isn’t talked about at all.

There are several reasons for the silence. While conservatives like to cast being gay as a “choice,” abortion, of course, really is. In particular, it’s a medical procedure a woman undergoes one day out of her life. While many days before and after might be emotionally tumultuous, it is still just one day, just one event in a woman’s life, and does not define her character.

Furthermore, abortion is private. It’s a decision made, at most, by two people. It is no one else’s business.

Being gay, on the other hand, is part of who someone is. The powerful – and correct – word associated with coming out is “pride.” Being gay doesn’t define the whole self, but it does indicate how someone loves, which is one of the most important parts of a full and happy life. Gay people used to be forced to live shadowed lives, not allowed a public existence. They were told that how they loved was something of which to be ashamed.

With the tide turning, they are claiming full personhood in a way human history hasn’t previously allowed – to history’s shame.

But this should remind us why it will always be more difficult to keep minds open on abortion. Abortion is painted as a shameful thing – just as much as being gay once was. And whereas the word “pervert” is thankfully fading into memory, the word “murder” is louder than ever.

It would help if women felt comfortable enough to talk openly about having had an abortion and let their loved ones see that they are still just as human, good, and dear as they ever were. It would help if people could then understand that abortion isn’t something “bad” women do, that it is an option some women simply need to have. It isn’t easy, but it is necessary, and it doesn’t mark a person for life.

Even under the best circumstances, however, women probably won’t want to talk openly about having had an abortion – and why should they? Besides, no one really likes to hear about someone else’s medical procedure. It can be one of the best ways to end a family gathering early. What we must try to do is remove the stigma of “shame.” There is no easy way to do that, but it must be done. The anti-choice contingent is winning with the use of emotionally charged language. We must beat them back by reminding them that it is the woman who counts, not the fetus. And if she chooses to abort, she remains the same rich, textured human being she ever was, not someone who is defined by a choice she made on one day of her life.

A few weeks ago, I attended a fantastic conference on feminism and new media: a day devoted to online activism and freelancing as a feminist, sponsored by the fabulous women at WAM! NYC. What was supposed to be a nine-to-five Feminist Saturday Spectacular was quickly cut short for me; I bailed at noon. I listened to the first panel on “Responsible Reporting on Trauma” and attended to three-quarters of a genuinely helpful discussion on negotiating when I fell into a technology hole.

I heard about the annual WAM! NYC Conference from fellow feminists who attended last year. The conference—or the part I managed to attend, at least—was wonderful. The panelists were engaging, the advice was solid, and the room was full of bright young women. What I didn’t realize, though, was that a conference on feminism and new media would, obviously, have a lot of feminist bloggers and tweeters in attendance.

I was intimidated. I had been interested in blogging but hadn’t yet typed anything worth submitting; my twitter feed had been reduced to a private account that consisted of comments on Beyoncé’s genius and my own hygiene issues (“It’s Casual Maybe-I-Should-Have-Washed-My-Hair Friday, you guys!”). I was definitely a few steps behind these women, but I was there to learn, right?! I tentatively took out my notebook and clunky Android phone from my bag and mentally prepared for the day ahead.

The first panel began and after a few minutes I was already falling behind. While trying to take notes, I worried that I was missing something potentially tweet-able. I tried to juggle hand-writing my notes and composing tweets at the same time, but that was a failure. I quickly panicked: Was it better to stop using my notepad and just tweet everything? What was the conference-sanctioned hash tag? Why couldn’t I check-in to this thing on Facebook? It doesn’t count as live-tweeting if you post it later, right?! And why did this seem so easy for everyone else?

I was trying my best to keep up with the room full of feminists who were, somehow, simultaneously tweeting, checking into Foursquare, friend-ing each other on Facebook, and taking notes on the panelists. I felt overwhelmed. The necessity of using this technology was obvious. The hash tag for the event was written on piece of paper taped to the wall, under the note reminding us of the wifi password. The women around me rushed to plug in laptops and scroll through their smartphones. A girl sitting next to my left clicked her nails against an iPad. Everyone in the room seemed, somehow, better at this technology thing than me.

I missed most of the panel on trauma writing because I spent that hour having an inner panic attack about what I was “supposed” to be doing: tweeting or actually paying attention. When the panel on negotiating began, I realized that I was suddenly anxious, sweating, and very much over being in public. I packed up my pathetic spiral notebook and fled.

The problem I was having—apart from my obvious social anxiety issues—was that I couldn’t decide if it was more important to actually be learning at the conference or to let people know that I was at the conference. Social media is necessary in activism. My failure at it was, and is, holding me back.

New media is quickly becoming a staple in feminist activism. Feminists and like-minded thinkers collaborate and arrange to act on social media and listservs. Technology is bringing activists together in an urgent, startlingly fast way. Feminist media, as this conference was trying to tell me, is vital to change.

So why was I having so much trouble with it? It’s difficult to keep up, for one thing. Being an activist today means that you should, if you plan on making anything happen, have a very active and transparent online presence.

As a feminist in New York City, at least, it is important to make it known that you’re spending your Saturday attending a feminist media conference. It is equally important for you to live-tweet it. You’ll obviously have to write something about it later for your blog, but while you’re there it is important to make a fast Facebook post thanking everyone and friend-ing your new connections. Your name, and a testament to what a dedicated feminist you are, will pop up on your friends’ newsfeeds constantly throughout the day. The message is clear: If you want to make change happen, you need to have a viable spot in the social media world.

How can someone like me, who only tweets about her dry shampoo usage, make a difference as an activist without relying on technology? In short, I don’t think it’s possible. Following Shelby Knox on Twitter isn’t enough; an aspiring activist needs to be writing her own tweets, composing her own blog posts, and posting her own Facebook events. That was my takeaway from my brief two hours at the conference: Be the Shelby Knox you wish to see in the world! Or something like that.

Feminism, as it exists today, would not be possible without new media. To reject Twitter, or Facebook, or WordPress, or your other social media outlet of choice is to reject the chance to have your voice and your views heard. To me, it has become apparent that Third Wave feminism is very much about utilizing technology and carving out a space for yourself amongst other activists. Embrace it or get nothing done.

What’s a technology-wary feminist to do? Get real and deal. I’ve got a brand new, grown-up Twitter account (where I will only be posting occasional Beyoncé tweets now, I promise). Look out, feminism: I’m tweeting. And blogging, if you haven’t figured that out yet.

My greatest desire in being a feminist—the reason I support this cause at all—is to actually change the social structure. To earn equal pay. To have easy access to abortion. If I, or any other activist, want those things to become a reality, we have to make our voices heard and rally support around these causes. The way to do this is through new media.

Next year, I plan on going back to WAM! NYC’s conference. I will be a feminist tweeting contender when I return. And I vow to stay for at least three hours next time, before getting overwhelmed again.

Kristen Verge is a new blogger for Paradigm Shift NYC. She is a New Jersey girl recently transplanted to Brooklyn, most interested in women and the media, a woman’s right to choose, and women’s issues in the Native American community. You can see her tweeting attempts at @kristenverge.

One of the incredibly smart women I work with sent me a link to an op-ed from Princeton University’s newspaper entitled: “Advice for the young women of Princeton: the daughters I never had.” I presumed this was follow up from the conversation we had during lunch where we discussed our many feelings about the success of Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In. She followed this link with the word “vomit.” I clicked on it immediately.

In short, the above op-ed is a piece written by a Princeton alum and the mother of two men who attended/are attending Princeton. The author of this op-ed was recently invited to a “Women and Leadership” conference featuring a conversation between Princeton’s President Shirley Tilghman and professor Anne-Marie Slaughter (author of the Atlantic article “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All” that gave the internet whiplash last summer). This alum attended the conference with her best friend (a woman she met her freshman year at Princeton in 1973) and together these women participated in breakout sessions with current undergrads about women and the workplace.

All of this sounds so promising, doesn’t it?  Well…

To quote the author:” You girls glazed over at preliminary comments about our professional accomplishments and the importance of networking. Then the conversation shifted in tone and interest level when one of you asked how have Kendall and I sustained a friendship for 40 years. You asked if we were ever jealous of each other. You asked about the value of our friendship, about our husbands and children. Clearly, you don’t want any more career advice. At your core, you know that there are other things that you need that nobody is addressing. A lifelong friend is one of them. Finding the right man to marry is another…For most of you, the cornerstone of your future and happiness will be inextricably linked to the man you marry, and you will never again have this concentration of men who are worthy of you. Here’s what nobody is telling you: Find a husband on campus before you graduate. Yes, I went there.”

Enter “vomit.”

Let’s for a minute ignore all the assumptions made throughout this piece which promote ageism, heterosexism, and the various assumptions about class and intelligence. And let’s also ignore the fact that roughly half of marriages end in divorce (which is totally true, I discovered, after looking on the CDC website; a website which also lists the percentage of women in the US who douche. I was not aware anyone was tracking that particular statistic, but apparently, they are. Glad to see that number going down, ladies! Douching is so not good for you.)

But back to the matter at hand.

Aside from making me rage in several different ways, I feel like the author missed the real question. The question that I bet a lot of smart undergrads attending a “Women and Leadership” conference would like the answer to: “At your core, you know that there are other things that you need that nobody is addressing. A lifelong friend is one of them.”

So, here’s my letter. It’s about friends.

“My advice to college age women: it’s all about friendship”

Forget about having it all, or not having it all, leaning in or leaning out — here’s what you really need to know that nobody is telling you.

For years (decades, really) women have been bombarded with the pressure to marry and reproduce. I say, who cares? College is not about that, it’s about finding yourself.

For many, this is your first taste of independence. Learn to rely on yourself and learn to love yourself. Devote your time and energy to the causes and activities you believe in. Colleges have an amazing energy that comes from putting a bunch of young, smart people together and giving them the space to form their own ideas and think about how they’d like to change the world.

There is one piece of advice I can offer and it is this: find a group of women. For most of you, the cornerstone of your future and happiness will be inextricably linked to the wonderful women you will meet in college. Open yourself to meeting as many of them as you can, and sharing your ideas with them, since you may never again have such a great concentration of people who come from different backgrounds. Learn from their experiences and let them change you.

As a freshman, you have four classes of intelligent and experienced women to learn from. Take that opportunity and run with it. Use what they teach you and pass it down to incoming freshman. Do not view women as your competition, but as valuable resources. Be there for them when someone breaks their heart. Let them know you will not leave them so easily. Tell them about your dreams and let them make you feel like you can achieve them. Cry to them and let them turn that crying into laughter. Meet as many women as you can. Learn something from all of them. Do not judge them. Argue kindly. Never let them feel alone. Find one you really like and move in with her and pray that your menstrual cycles sync up so you can enjoy cramping on the couch together, sharing horror stories about that one time your diva cup failed.

It’s ok to leave them when you graduate because you will always have a piece of them with you. Use that. Harness their love as energy and rely on it when you are feeling unsure. Email them often. Meet up with them for drinks and tell them everything they’ve missed in one long breath. Remind them of their incredible worth. Find a new group of women in your workplace. Repeat the above.

If I had daughters, this is what I would be telling them.

I think many of us approach the idea of talking to our kids about sex by following cultural scripts we don’t give much thought to.  If we stop and ask ourselves why, however, we may realize these scripts are not at all the best way to raise empowered, feminist children.  Why does a same-sex parent give the sex talk?  What message does that send?  Why a “sex talk” at all?  And what should be said in the talk?

I know some of you think you have many years before you answer these questions, but the truth is, we have to start when our children are learning to talk by teaching them the proper names for body parts in a casual,  natural non-shaming way.  I tell my two year-old daughter during diaper changes “I need to wipe your vulva.”  This is the very beginnings of her sex education, and my son’s as well.

So why “sex talks?”

Recently, a group of friends at a dinner party went around a talked about whether we had had a “sex talk.”  Turns out not a single person at the table had had one.  We were all basically “self-taught.”  So the fact that many folks who are parents now are thinking about and planning “sex talks” is admirable and important.

But is the “sex talk” enough?

In my opinion, if I’m planning a “sex talk” with a kid, I’ve already missed an opportunity.  I’ll

“Sex talks” send the following messages:

-Sex is unusual, different, and distinct from daily interactions and can be neatly separated out from the rest of life and put into a box the size of a conversation.

-Sex elicits awkwardness and anxiety.

-Sex is only talked about with members of the same gender.

-Sex is not something people in couples talk about with their partners present.

The truth is sex is everywhere.  It’s everywhere because is saturates our culture and media, but it is also everywhere because it permeates our lives as humans in very natural ways.  Everything we do, all our interactions have sensual, erotic, romantic, and kinky elements.  The idea that we can take all that is non-platonic and shove it into a neat little monogamous, monosexual compartment isn’t accurate, and I don’t think it’s what we truly want to be teaching our kids.

Once at a sleepover in high school with a bunch of girls, a friend of mine announced that an older girl we all knew had had “oral sex.”  I distinctly remember that none of us knew what that was.  We knew what blow jobs were, of course.  OF COURSE.  It seemed most of the girls in our class were giving blow jobs regularly.  But I didn’t know a single girl in high school who knew that a girl could receive oral sex (let alone from another girl!).  As this girl described what her friend had told her about the “oral sex,” the girls squealed with displeasure at the thought of someone licking their private areas, and were perplexed that this older girl had reported being “eaten out” was “better than sex.”

Turns out being eaten out is sex.  Our daughters need to know that.  They need to know that sex is supposed to feel good, and yes, that includes for girls.  Sex isn’t something you do to get into the popular group or get a boy’s attention.  Sex is always for you!

I relay this story to highlight what we are doing by not arming our daughters with specific, in-depth sexual knowledge.  These girls were still having sex.  They were having sex in ways that were pleasing to boys.  They didn’t even understand that their pleasure was something to consider.  They didn’t know they could have had sex with girls instead.  They didn’t have any options because they had learned a very limited sexual script.

You can be sure no daughter of mine will be going around giving blow jobs not even knowing cunnilingus exists!   Look, we may all hope our daughters aren’t giving blow jobs in high school, but the fact is many of them will.  I may not be able to control the what and when of my kids’ sexual encounters, but I can absolutely control what level of knowledge they go into those experiences with.  I want my boy and my girl to understand that a sexual encounter should be mutually pleasurable.  If they are not comfortable, emotionally or physically, I want them to hear my fucking annoying voice ringing in their ears, saying, “Does it feel good!?”

On that note, as early as high school, despite my own complete lack of experience, I picked up somewhere that sex wasn’t supposed to hurt.  I’m almost sure I picked this up from some feminist reading I had done for class.  This was before high school kids did web searches.  I remember arguing with other girls about this.  The common wisdom seemed to be the “first time” hurts horribly and the best approach is just “get it over with.”

It’s not enough to tell our kids to wear condoms.  We need to describe to them in detail how long it takes for a woman to be lubricated enough for penetration, what types of things are likely to facilitate that, and what kind of lube to use if you need a bit of help.  We need to buy our daughters dildos and tell them to practice on themselves so they know what it should feel like.  If there’s going to be discomfort, they should be in complete control and able to push their limits as they see fit.  I still tell adults all the time that sex shouldn’t hurt, ever.  (Unless the pain is the point in a kink/BDSM context).  And yes, we need to tell our kids about that too!

In college, I had this reputation for being a kind of amateur sex therapist.  It was ironic because I still had essentially no experience whatsoever.  But I knew things.  In many cases more than people who’d actually had sex!  One of my signature interventions was bringing women to downtown Chicago to a sex shop to buy their first dildo or vibrator.  I remember this one woman didn’t even know what a dildo was – 21 years old!  What?  Over my dead body my kids will go off to college not knowing what a dildo is!

I think many folks still believe talking to kids about sex will make them do it.  If we don’t talk to our kids about sex, frequently and repeatedly, and in detail, (and this includes parents of all genders with kids of all genders), they are still going to learn about sex.  They will learn about it from:

-Very intense, frequent exposure to pornography that bears no resemblance to actual sex.

-Other misinformed or under-informed kids.

-Other kids who have an agenda and are not invested in presenting balanced, egalitarian viewpoints.

-Adults who are not sex-positive and may even be shaming.

-Television, movies, and books, the vast majority of which present a hetero-normative, monogamous, gender-traditional, sex-shameful cultural script, often involving sexy vampire teens biting each other’s necks.

Get in there now!  Don’t wait!  Talk about sex at the dinner table, in the car, in front of the tv, during homework, on weekends, on weekdays, with relatives, friends, and any other time.  If you have a partner, model for your kids talking about sex with a partner by talking to your partner about sex in front of them.  Talk about every aspect of sex, sexuality, sexual orientation, romance, love, eroticism, sensuality, touch, friendship, emotional intimacy, kink, monogamy, non-monogamy, safe sex, flirting, sexual fluidity and anything and everything else.

A “Sex Talk” takes sex out of life and puts it in some kind of alternate universe where our kids don’t live and we don’t live.  Show your kids through example the rich spectrum of sexuality and sensuality present in all aspects of our lives.

Privilege. If I had a nickel for every time I heard that word, I’d probably be a Koch brother by now. But they don’t give you nickels for interrogating power. That’s actually the direct opposite of why they would ever give you nickels. You know, “they,” as in “the man.” But I digress. Back to privilege. What is it? And why are we so often told to check it? Simple. Intersectionality, people. Because oppression doesn’t work in a blanketed way, but it affects different intersecting identities in very specific ways. Because you don’t know everything. Because you don’t experience everything. Because there are other perspectives, other experiences, other identities, and they understand the world in distinctly different ways than you do. Privilege. Sometimes, you just need to check it, be quiet, and listen.

So then, what is privilege? Privilege is the favor you receive, whether wanted or not, based on an identity that you hold. Privilege is the value of your voice, just because of a certain identity. We live in a system that privileges white, heterosexual, middle-class, cisgender, Christian men. If you’re white, you are privileged. If you’re heterosexual, you are privileged. If you’re a man, you are privileged. If you’re middle or upper class, you’re privileged. If you’re cisgender (a non-trans person), you are privileged. If you’re Christian, you are privileged. If you exist within any of these identities, yes — you are privileged. I have lived my life as a white women of economic privilege in the United States. That is the perspective that I have. Have I experienced discrimination? Yes, I have. But that doesn’t mean that I understand all discrimination, all oppression. That doesn’t mean that I exist in a vacuum of social power dynamics. I am a white, straight, cisgender woman in a heterosexist, racist patriarchy.

Checking your privilege is understanding that, while I may not want to benefit from being a white person, I do. I have a voice that is more likely to be heard, respected, valued. It’s not because I want it to be that way; it’s because we exist in a society that perpetuates racism and devalues the voices, perspectives, and lives of people of color. Checking your privilege is understanding that you exist in an advantaged social space and the knowledge that you do not experience oppression and discrimination in the same way as other people.

Checking your privilege is listening, not posturing. When a woman of color says that she finds something racist, I accept her feelings on that. I don’t need to challenge her interpretation of what’s racist because, let’s be real here, I don’t know. I have never been discriminated against on the basis of race. A person of color has more legitimacy and more of a right to assert what is and isn’t racist because they have that lived experience. They understand racism in ways that I never will.

Sometimes, when someone is told to check their privilege, they respond defensively: “But, because I’m not a black woman, I don’t get to have opinions? I’m just trying to help! I don’t get to help?” Shush. First of all, no one needs your “help.” Support is not the same thing as help. You’re not a savior. As Melissa Harris-Perry so keenly noted on her show today, there already exists a groundwork of people resisting, organizing, challenging discrimination on their own behalf. If you want to be an ally, check your identities — scan your privileges — and take a back seat, a supporting role.

Checking your privilege doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to have an opinion, a thought, a feeling. It just means that you are aware that your opinions, your thoughts, your feelings are not the only ones, and they are influenced by your privileged position. Checking your privilege means that you accept that you don’t know everything, that people who experience a certain kind of discrimination and oppression firsthand have the right to assert their opinions, thoughts, and feelings. They have a distinct perspective and should be heard. Checking your privilege also means acknowledging that the voices of those who don’t occupy a privileged position are often silenced and sidelined, or co-opted and appropriated by those in privileged positions. Checking your privilege often means shutting up. It means listening. It means learning. It means valuing those voices and perspectives from non-privileged positions.

So when someone says to you, “Check your privilege,” try not to get defensive. Try to understand where it’s coming from. It’s not an assertion that you are a terrible human being, that you have nothing to contribute, that you’re necessarily racist/sexist/heterosexist/cissexist. It’s a call to reflect on your privileged identities and the favored social space those identities permit you to inhabit.

In the immortal words of Ice Cube, check yourself before you wreck yourself.

The weather is warming and the tulips are beginning to peek through the soil in some places (not where I live though it’s all slime and brown here). With warmer weather, we begin to pack away our bulky sweaters. As flowers bloom, our thoughts turn to all of those things that make summer so wonderful. There’s so much to look forward to like music festivals, drinks on patios, picnics, pool parties, and on and on.

One of the things about spring and summer that is not a delight is the combined slut and body shaming sure to be on the rise. As Pasadena Community College professor Hugo Schwyzer often tells his women’s studies classes “sisterhood is easier in the winter”. When warmer weather comes in, all sorts of internal and external anxieties about women’s bodies begin to appear.

I think all women are familiar with that uneasy tension that arises not just from the way others around you dress, but with your own wardrobe and body as well. I know from first-hand experience about covering myself up in layers of clothing to hide my body. While my mother and sister are svelte I am much more curvy, with an ‘hourglass’ figure that Marilyn Monroe fans (she’s the quintessential hourglass figure of course) assure me is very attractive, actually does not fit well into a lot of modern styles.  Models are generally not full breasted and hippy. I am. I remember when I was 20 I went to the Internet in search for something that would tell me that even though I wasn’t skinny I was ok. I typed my height and weight 5’6 155 lbs (omg my weight is now on the Internet) into a Yahoo answer and asked vulnerably, pitifully “am I ok”? The answers were not very reassuring. The lesson is that sometimes you have to find acceptance of yourself, by yourself.

You don’t need to pick yourself apart, and a great way to stop doing that is to learn to accept other body types around you. Doing promotional modeling was really helpful to me here there were so many girls who were traditionally magazine –model beautiful, and then there was me. What I learned from working with these women was that, gasp, they were actually people and not just attractive bodies on display. They had ambitions and thoughts, and they weren’t the mean girls from high school. So no matter what they are wearing or what shape their body is remember that these women are your sisterhood—and as Gloria Steinem once said, “Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke. That’s their natural and first weapon. She will need her sisterhood”. Be kind to the women around you because we need each other.

Another way to help with body acceptance is to do affirmations. I know, they are really really cheesy and it can be hard to look at yourself in the mirror everyday and find something about yourself that you love.  But you should. Be it your eyes, your arms, your breasts or your knees find something about yourself that you find beautiful. There are messages in society that will try to tell you that you are unacceptable, and so you need to spend time actively countering that body-shaming messaging we are always passively receiving. Making yourself acceptable to other people is not in the best interest of your health or your goals. Your body is the most transient thing about you and it will not be the same next week, or next year. Learn to love the ride.

IN HONOR OF SEXUAL ASSAULT ACTIVISM MONTH, SAFER RELEASES RESULTS OF NATIONAL STUDY OF STUDENT ANTI-RAPE ACTIVISTS

U.S. Colleges/Universities are Not Making the Grade: Half of Students Give Their Schools a C or Worse in Addressing Campus Sexual Violence

(NEW YORK, NY) April 1, 2013 – Every April for the past 10 years advocates across the country have spoken out against rape during Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM). Two years ago, Students Active for Ending Rape (SAFER) challenged campus communities to recognize SAAM as Sexual Assault ACTIVISM Month and pledge to change how their campus prevents and responds to sexual violence. This year SAFER continues to observe Sexual Assault ACTIVISM Month by sharing the voices and experiences of student activists from across the country.

Today SAFER releases Moving Beyond Blue Lights and Buddy Systems: A National Study of Student Anti-Rape Activists. The study was conducted through an online survey of 528 undergraduate students from 46 US states and the District of Columbia along with a series of focus groups with student activists. The study examined students’ activities, priorities, perceptions, and needs related to various efforts to address campus sexual violence, with a specific focus on campus policies. Students also reported on their school’s efforts to address rape and sexual assault.

“This study demonstrates the critical role that students can play in combating campus sexual violence and underscores the need for increased resources and supports for students seeking to make change on their campuses.” said Dr. Emily Greytak, SAFER’s Evaluation Coordinator and primary researcher on the study. “At the same time, it illustrates that while some schools are ahead of the curve and are effectively addressing campus sexual violence, many colleges and universities continue to lag behind, failing to adequately address the issue and often ignoring students’ needs.”

The results of this study also highlight the ongoing struggle to shift away from individual risk reduction efforts, like self-defense tactics and increased security measures, towards a focus on institutional change and primary prevention. Students rated awareness raising and safety initiatives as the top two most effective ways in combating campuses sexual violence. Not surprisingly then, student activists were most likely to have participated in awareness raising activities, such as Take Back the Night and Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Far fewer engaged in organizing or advocacy to reform their campus policies or implement programming or services, such as a sexual assault centers. Similarly, awareness raising efforts and risk reduction and safety initiatives were the most commonly report strategies implemented by schools as well. Although these were also the tactics most endorsed by students, overall, students indicated that their schools were not succeeding in their efforts; when asked to assign a grade to the job their school does in addressing rape and sexual assault, half gave their school a C or lower.

“We agree with the students in our study that raising awareness is an important step towards addressing campus sexual violence, yet we know it cannot end there. Students can harness this awareness and build a movement for change,” explained Selena Shen, Chair of SAFER’s Board of Directors, “And while information about risk reduction strategies should be available to all students, focusing on these strategies alone not only perpetuates rape culture by putting the onus on the victim to avoid rape, but it will ultimately fail in eliminating sexual violence in that ignores its root causes.”

“We urge both schools and the student activists and themselves to move beyond the risk reduction strategies of blue lights and buddy systems, and to extend their efforts to addressing primary prevention, whether through encouraging bystander intervention or working to change rape culture on campus,” continued Shen. “SAFER believes that a strong, comprehensive campus sexual assault policy is a key tool to achieving primary prevention and sustainable institutional change, and it is our mission is to provide students with the resources and support as they embark on reforming their campus policy. Schools can improve their response to campus sexual violence by involving students, such as the activists in our study and those we encounter in the regular course of our work. It is our hope that this study will provide some insight and guidance for all of us, students, administrators, faculty, and advocates alike, working to create safe campus communities, free of sexual violence once and for all.”

Throughout Sexual Assault ACTIVISM Month, SAFER will be sharing key findings from the study on our blog at www.safercampus.org/blog. A full summary report of Moving Beyond Blue Lights and Buddy Systems: A National Study of Student Anti-Rape Activists is also available. 

Select Key Findings

About the Study

Outreach for the survey was conducted through SAFER’s constituent database and social networks, and in order to reach student activists who were not engaged with SAFER, we utilized SAFER’s partnership with a leading magazine for young women. The magazine posted announcements about our survey on its online social media sites. 528 undergraduate student activists completed the online survey. They were from a diverse range of schools, in 46 different states and 6 countries, including liberal arts colleges, community colleges, and state universities. 19 students participated in the focus groups held at two conferences – a national conference for young feminists and a local conference for campus anti-rape activists. By design, a portion of the participants were familiar with SAFER prior to the study whereas a portion were not. To increase participation and reduce sample bias, monetary incentives were provided to both survey and focus group participants. Both the survey and the focus groups explored students’ activities, priorities, perceptions, and needs related to various efforts to address campus sexual violence, with a specific focus on campus policy. For more information about survey methods and sample, see the full summary report.

About SAFER (www.safercampus.org)

Started by Columbia University students in 2000, Students Active for Ending Rape (SAFER) is the only organization that fights sexual violence and rape culture by empowering student-led campaigns to reform college sexual assault policies. Run by a volunteer collective, SAFER facilitates student organizing through in-person trainings; individual support through our Activist Mentoring Program; our Campus Sexual Assault Policies Database, in collaboration with V-Day; and our Activist Resource Center, a growing online resource library and network for student organizers. SAFER firmly believes that sexual violence is both influenced by and contributes to multiple forms of oppression, including racism, sexism, and homo/transphobia, and view our anti-sexual violence work through a broader anti-oppression lens.

This past March 22 marked the 41st year since the Equal Rights Amendment was passed by the Senate and sent by President Nixon to the states for ratification. The Amendment fell short of ratification by three states in 1982. Granted, no one likes to make laws in haste, but this is an issue whose time came and never left.

Recent articles by such prominent writers as Katha Pollitt and Gail Collins discuss the ERA and make much of the fact that the arguments levied against it are no longer valid. The guardians of the status quo may be fighting to maintain their steadily loosening grip on supreme rule, but the march toward full equality over the past half-century is not the sort from which one looks back. Everyone who was shut out of the power structure has made tremendous gains, but this bill, which came so tantalizingly close to being law, still lingers.

This December will be the 90th anniversary of the ERA’s original introduction in Congress by the suffragist leader Alice Paul. In 1923, it was the next obvious step for women. They had been voting for three years and the earth’s rotation had yet to come to a screeching halt, so it seemed a good moment to press for full equality, writing women completely into the Constitution.

But voting was one thing – real equality was something else. In 1923, women might be wearing their skirts short and their hair shorter, but the men who made the laws weren’t about to consign away their power.

Support for the ERA came in fits and starts. The Republicans introduced it into their party platform in 1940, the Democrats in 1944 (male union members thought women might threaten their jobs, hence the delay). President Eisenhower, so very much the face of 1950s tradition and conformity, asked a joint session of Congress to pass the amendment in 1958. But it wasn’t until the formation of the National Organization for Women and the growing groundswell of a women’s movement in the late 1960s that the ERA started to be seen as viable.

In the wake of successful Civil Rights legislation and the shock wave that was Stonewall, women were fighting back against the sexist laws that had defined – and confined – them for years. Young women who had been born into the Mad Men era of excess petticoats and desperate husband-hunting were gaining opportunities almost daily. And the ERA was sailing through state legislature after state legislature.

Until Phyllis Schlafly, a conservative and former Congressional candidate, organized a group to fight ratification. The arguments were simple: the ERA would take away women’s “special privileges.” Specifically, it would force women into combat, rob them of   alimony entitlement, and force them into unisex bathrooms. Among other things. It all amounted to the insistence that women would be forced out of their roles as contented wives and mothers and into careers. Apparently, hyperbole goes down well when you’re scared of change.

Since change happened anyway, there’s some question – even amongst women – as to whether the ERA is still needed. Surely, it would just be a symbol?

Well, no. Because while the ERA wouldn’t stop the sort of medieval mentality that characterizes the debate over reproductive rights (seriously, some are trying to restrict birth control now?), it would be a useful weapon in the insistence that what a woman decides is right for her should be the last word on the subject. It would make it harder for anyone to keep getting away with paying women less than men for comparable work. And it would be a powerful tool in the ongoing battle for social and economic parity.

The thing is, we’ve seen that rights won can be rolled back. Some of the battles being fought now are little more than retreads, just with different clothes. Having an ERA wouldn’t win those battles, but it would make it a lot harder for those combating women’s rights to fight on.

A list of activists including Richard Dawkins have called out for a day of international support and awareness for a young Femen activist who is facing punishment, or even death in her country of Tunisia. Her crime? The 19-year-old Tunisian, Amina (last name unknown) posted two topless photos of herself in protest against Islamic extremism and Sharia law. One photo shows her topless, smoking a cigarette, with “My Body is My Own and Not the Source of Anyone’s Honor” scrawled in Arabic across her chest. Another shows her raising her middle fingers to the camera, with “Fuck Your Morals,” written in English on her torso. According to the Femen leader in Paris Inna Shevchenko, Amina’s family have delivered her to a psychiatric hospital after she posted topless photos of herself to the Femen web page she created for the group in Tunisia. The head of the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice in Tunisia, Almi Adel, a Salafi Islamic preacher, has called for Amina to be “stoned to death” for the images. He cited the severity of the punishment as appropriate du to the “epidemics and disasters” that could be brought forth. He also warned that her actions “could be contagious and give ideas to other women.” Gasp what does this woman think, that women are people? Media reports say Tunisian secular law would punish her with up to two years in prison. Sharia law dictates 80-100 lashes. April 4th is the International Day to Support Amina there is also a petition to protect Amina at Change.org. Through Amina, and her persecution and her struggle, we witness the experiences of living in a culture in which the asymmetric race relations are a central organizing principle of a society. Femen said in a statement they were furious about the “barbarian threats of the Islamists about the necessity of reprisals against the Tunisian activist Amina…we are afraid for her life and we call on women to fight for their freedom against religious atrocities.” Keep your eyes open, and let Tunisia know we are watching. Keep the conversation growing on twitter by using #Amina. She needs your voice.